Wednesday , July 27 2016

Tiffany

13th Place

Bronte

14th Place

Jozea

15th Place

Glenn

16th Place
Home / Big Brother 15 / Big Brother 15 – The Final HoH Round Is Set

Big Brother 15 – The Final HoH Round Is Set

bb15-andy-ginamarie-finals

Round 2 of the final HoH competition was played last night, and from what I hear it took quite a long time.  It was a timed competition where Andy and Spencer had an hour to climb something and arrange things based on the order of evicted houseguests.  I didn’t watch much of the feeds yesterday because I took a much needed day off from blogging about the house.  It doesn’t hurt that every time I log on the feeds, I hear GinaMarie chatting away and want to jab a screwdriver in my ear. Anyway, the final competition was Andy versus Spencer, and I’ll let you take a wild guess who won this….

Yes, by an extremely tight margin of about 15 minutes, Andy destroyed Spencer and is headed to the final round of the HoH against GinaMarie.  This final 2 comes as a surprise to just about nobody as Spencer’s only shot at winning would have been a beard growing challenge.  This doesn’t mean Spencer is out of the final 2, it just means his fate is completely in the hands of either GinaMarie or Andy at this point.  If either of them have a brain, they’d take Spencer, but as of right now they’re ‘promising’ to take one another regardless of who wins the final challenge.

With that said, it’s not a surprise that they’re promising each other a spot in the final 2.  I’d like to think both have the intention of taking Spencer while promising deals in the event they do lose, but nothing would surprise me at this point.  All 3 of them have basically lucked their way into the final 3 by being the weakest and lowest priority target of their respective alliances.  Some may call them floaters, I just call them weak players who sat on the sidelines while the strong ones killed each other (that could also be considered a smart strategy?).

Enough about those 3, I want to mention some sad news.  If you were watching this season, you’d know that former houseguest Britney Haynes had a baby recently as Julie announced it to the house.  Sadly, Britney revealed that her baby (Tilly) was diagnosed with cancer.  There really aren’t very many words for this other than it really sucks and I hope the best for Britney, her family, and especially Tilly.  There is a hashtag going around twitter #prayfortilly if you want to show your support and send positive vibes their way.

Back to the house briefly, I’m not really sure how much I’ll be reporting this week as it’s generally the slowest period in the house and this final 3 is probably the least interesting trio possible.  I’d like to get another update or two in before the finale, but school has also started and I also need to start re-focusing on my other blog Teen Mom Junkies (there is a lot of train wreck to catch up on there).

PS – For those wondering, test results came back for my father and we got good news!  Yay!  Thank you for your kind words during my brief absence.

PPS – I think next season I’m going to require a log-in to comment, this way I can have better control over banning (should someone need it), among another things.

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485 comments

  1. A whovian plug here. But for those of you would watch Doctor who you may remember this, and for those who dont you may want to see this episode for kicks. There was a marathon on Space today and saw the “badwolf” episode, the last episode of season one of the new series.

    In it they had a clip of Big brother 3000 and something. The reason I was sickly laugh: when you got eliminated (by voters at home not guest, which is way better, glass house) you weren’t just eliminated from the house you were eliminated from “life”. i wonder how BB15 players would have played if they were on that season lol.

      • There once was a fellow McSweeny
        Who spilled some gin on his weenie
        Just to be couth
        He added vermouth
        Then slipped his girlfriend a martini

        There once was a man Robin Hood
        Who lived in a Knottingham wood
        He learned how to f**k
        from old Friar Tuck
        And made Marion whenever he could

        There once was a fellow O’Doole
        Who found little red spots on his tool
        His Doctor a cynic
        said Get out of me clinic,
        And wipe off that lipstick you fool!

        A pirate, history relates
        Was scuffling with some of his mates
        When he slipped on a cutlass
        Which rendered him nutless
        And practically useless on dates

        There once was a woman named Jill
        Who swallowed an exploding pill
        They found her vagina
        In North Carolina
        And her tits in a tree in Brazil

        There once was a plumber from Lee
        Who was plumbing his girl by the sea
        She said Stop your plumbing,
        There’s somebody coming!
        Said the plumber still plumbing… It’s me!

        A right twisted wench from Caprees-ed
        Orgasmed each time that she sneez-ed
        To the druggist she went
        And laid down her last cent
        Said, “A barrel of snuff, if you pleas-ed.”

        On the moors Kelly walked in a daze
        There she’d bark at the moon and the haze
        Still her friends weren’t concerned
        For by now they had learned
        Once a month she would go through this phase.
        (author’s note to the ladies: “She was a
        werewolf. Now is it funny?”)

        A randy marsupial named Reeves
        Spent some time with the whores ‘tween their knees
        When they’d asked him for money
        He’d say “Listen honey
        A koala eats bushes and leaves.”

        Now down in the valley of Shneel
        Lived a woman who loved to reveal
        With her curtains well drawn
        Standing bare as a fawn
        She’d do this really neat trick with an eel

        Now this right old man was a sick ‘un
        He had a dozen hen ripe for the pickin’
        He’d chase ’em around
        With his trousers pulled down
        And he’d say “Whatsa matter, you chicken?”

        A new farmer’s helper named Kull
        Accidentally was milking a bull
        The farmer said, “Boy yer dumb,
        You done milked the wrong one!”
        Said the boy, “But me whole bucket’s full.”

        Twas a crazy old man called O’Keef
        Who caused local farmers much grief
        To their cows he would run
        Cut their legs off for fun
        And say “Look, I’ve invented ground beef!”

        There once was a man from Madrass
        Whose balls were made out of brass
        When he’d bang ’em together
        They’d play stormy weather
        And lightning would shoot out of his ass

        There once was a man from Havana
        Screwed a girl on a player piano
        At the height of their fever
        Her ass hit the lever
        And Yes he has no banana…

        There once was a man from East Kent
        Whose tool was so long that it bent
        To save her some trouble
        He folded it double
        And instead of coming…he went

        There once was a man from Bonaire
        Who was doing his wife on the stair
        When the banister broke
        He doubled his stroke
        And finished her off in midair

        On a knoll a young maiden named Molly
        Her innocence lost through young folly
        His name was Sing Chum
        And too soon he did cum
        And all he could say was “I’m solly!”

        A bear taking a dump asked a rabbit
        “Does shit stick to your fur as a habit?”
        “Of course not,” said the hare,
        “It’s really quite rare!”
        So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.

        There was a young tease from Mount Chesser
        Who’d smile as the men would assess her
        So flirtatious was she
        Inviting them home to tea
        Then allowing not one to undress her

        To his friend, Ned said, rather blue,
        “My wife Edith just told me we’re through,
        For she says I’m too fat.”
        And his friend told him that,
        “You can’t have your cake and Edith, too.”

        There once was a girl named Tristan
        Whose beer that she ordered was was pissed in
        She said “I don’t think,”
        As she spit out her drink,
        “On the menu that this one was listed.”

        Said a fool whose mind was quite miniscule
        As his ignorance reached a new pinnacle
        “I don’t believe in astrology
        It’s my ideology
        But I’m a Leo and Leo’s are cynical.

        I had me a wench from East Broint
        Who bade me her skin to anoint
        The girl had arthritis
        And so I decided
        She wouldn’t mind one more stiff joint.

  2. ashamed to be watching

    Thank you Steven for all of your hard work ! I am very happy to hear that your father is doing better . I would Welcome a log in system ,but I am not sure if I would like it linked to my FB ( only because I am a very private person and do not share a lot on FB ), but have no problem with my IP address being tracked if I get out of line block me ! I do believe we should be accountable for our actions .Once again Thank you .

  3. Well, I leave you kids alone for a few hours and look you!!….haha…..All of you to your rooms for some time-out! Besides that…I’ve enjoyed tonight’s BB episode— their best/worst memories of each hg…..dang commercials interrupted the best stories!

  4. Andy will be another Dan if he goes to F2. He will get one and only one vote, which is either GM or Spencer’s vote.

  5. Thanks for the cool blogs Stevie

  6. wow, after watching this I lost respect for Judd, Helen and Jessie. I knew of Spencer, Aaryn, Amanda, GM, Kaitlyn, Jeremy, David, Howard, McCrae and Andy’sssssss vile & shady comments but missed some of the insight on this video compilation. I think “cast the first stone” should be the theme for next year!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tyr5AOEzzc

  7. Hi,
    This is the first time I have watched BB US, I come from Spain and its very very different there. The HGs are nominated in the house but voted out by the public, and there can be up to 5 nominated…its a lot more exciting because the public has a lot more say in how things go. Although they cannot control who is nominated of course. And there is no jury, either, just the audience..I really didnt like this season I dont like the finalists and I am disappointed at the outcome now. Just watching because I have invested this much time already 🙁

    • If the public votes, the house guests would be very careful about what they say and do, and especially in the USA, the winner would only have to be a “good person.” What’s the fun in that?

      • No its not like that at all! The thing is they forget about the cameras and the great part is that the HGs who are nominated get sent off and then the ones who are not evicted (can be 5 nominated but only 1 leaves) come back. Its always great to see who comes back and the reactions of the HGs who are desperately trying to get rid of someone if that someone comes back…of course, they can always nominate whoever they want, so the “best” of the “worst” (according to the audience) comes back. So if America’s worst nightmare never gets nominated they can never be evicted…so I guess Andy would still be there lol and of course so would Elissa and a few others…

      • Ah…That makes it more frantic, which is always fun.

    • Scroll up a few message to my comment about why USA doesnt do it that way
      Just not enough people vote. A small group can control the game so this change was made to do it USA way.

  8. Hey stevebeans,
    It’s time to begin a new thread and hide this “Me” & “suzyq” thread
    in your archives. Please.
    : )

  9. The world is filled with low class humans such as ME, who believes the world revolves around them and are not happy unless they are making others miserable. The more you acknowledge ME’s bad behaviour, the more ME will do it, that is what this low class type of human thrives on, which means, ME will love this post because it is all about ME (as they like it) and it carries a negative tone (which is like an addiction to ME).
    I know it is hard to ignore such ignorance, but the more you respond, the more ME loves it. Ignore every single thing this person says and soon, when ME no longer gets a reaction, they will get bored and move on to a site where people will respond (as ME likes) to the negativity. Don’t feed the fire and it will burn itself out!

  10. No matter how this season has turned out I still hope they have more big brother seasons and think they should have a wheel of punishment when the contestants cross the line in the way they act. Big brother can be the judge of it and announce to the player they have crossed the line and have to go spin the wheel and see what their punishment is.
    I think it would add excitement if a player did but it really would help the players to keep more under control.

  11. STEVEBEANS!!!! Why aren’t you banning these people?? God, they’re (if its indeed more than one) clogging up all the post forums with this idiocy. Jesus Christ.

    • Why hasn’t stevebeans put up a new thread? Period.
      You can time cooking a 3 minute egg waiting for this page to download.
      Ridiculous!

    • A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, “When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?”

      The husband replied, “All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry.”

      Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, “What are you thinking now?”

      He replied, “It looks as if I did a pretty good job.”

      ——————————————————————————–

      As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, “If I’m going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman.”

      She removes all her clothing and asks, “Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?”

      A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, “Here, iron this!”.

      ——————————————————————————–

      One morning a woman was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man at the bottom of her garden.

      “You’re a goblin,” she says, “I caught you and you owe me three wishes!”. So the goblin replies “OK, you caught me fair and square, what’s your first wish?”. The woman stops and thinks for a second, “I want a huge mansion to live in.”, goblins replies “OK, you’ve got it.”. Woman again thinks it over, “My second wish is a Mercedes.” “OK, you’ve got that too.” “My last wish is a million dollars!”. The goblin then says “OK, you’ve got it. But to make your wishes come true you have to have sex all night with me.” “OK then, if that’s what it takes…”

      Next morning the little man wakes the woman up.

      “Tell me,” says the man, “how old are you?” “I’m 27”, she replies

      “Fuck me”, says the man, “27 and you still believe in goblins”

      ——————————————————————————–

      The newlyweds are in their honeymoon room and the groom decides to let the bride know where she stands right from the start of the marriage.

      He proceeds to take off his trousers and throw them at her. He says, “Put those on.”

      The bride replies, “I can’t wear your trousers.”

      He replies, “And don’t forget that! I will always wear the pants in the family!”

      The bride takes off her knickers and throws them at him with the same request, “Try those on!”

      He replies,”I can’t get into your knickers!”

      “And you never bloody will if you don’t change your attitude.”

      ——————————————————————————–

      How are women and tornadoes alike?

      They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.

      ——————————————————————————–

      There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day. The elderly man came back the next day and the specimen cup was empty and the lid was on it. Doctor: What was the problem? Elderly man: Well, you I tried with my right hand…nothing. So, I tried with my left hand…nothing. My wife tried with her right hand…nothing. Her left hand…nothing. Her mouth…nothing. Then my wife’s friend tried. Right hand, left hand, mouth….still nothing. Doctor: Wait a minute. You mean your wife’s friend too?! Elderly man: Yeah, and we still couldn’t get the lid off of the specimen cup.

      ——————————————————————————–

      A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says “But sir, its just a sperm bank!”, “I don’t care, open it now!!!” he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says “Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!”, she looks at him “BUT, they are sperm samples???” , “DO IT!”. So the nurse sucks it back. “That one there, drink that one as well.”, so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, “See honey – its not that hard.”

      ——————————————————————————–

      There are four kinds of sex :

      HOUSE SEX – When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.

      BEDROOM SEX – After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.

      HALL SEX – After you’ve been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say “FUCK YOU”

      COURTROOM SEX – When your wife and her lawyer fuck you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you’ve got.

      ——————————————————————————–

      This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. All his professionallism goes right out the window…

      He tells her to take her pants, she does, and he starts rubbing her thighs.

      “Do you know what I am doing?” asks the doctor?

      “Yes, checking for abnormalities.” she replies.

      He tells her to take off her shirt and bra, she takes them off. The doctor begins rubbing her breasts and asks, “Do you know what I am doing now?”, she replies, “Yes, checking for cancer.”

      Finally, he tells her to take off her panties, lays her on the table, gets on top of her and starts having sex with her. He says to her, “Do you know what I am doing now?”

      She replies, “Yes, getting herpies – thats why I am here!”

      ——————————————————————————–

      This couple were in bed getting busy when the girl places the guys hand onto her pussy. “Put your finger in me…” she asks him. So he does without hesitation, as she starts moaning. “Put two fingers in…”, she says. So in goes another one. She’s really starting to get worked up when she says, “Put your whole hand in!”. The guy’s like, “Ok!”. So he has his entire hand in, when she says moaning aloud “Put both your hands inside of me!!!”. So the guy puts both of his hands in! “Now clap your hands…” commands the girl. “I can’t”, says the guy. The girl looks at him and says “See, I told you I had a tight pussy!”.

      ——————————————————————————–

      A dog, a cat, and a penis are sitting around a camp fire one night. The dog says, “My life sucks, my master makes me do my business on a fire hydrent!”. The cat says, “I don’t think so, my master makes me do my business in a box of cat litter.” The penis outraged, says “At least your master doesn’t put a bag over your head and make you do push ups until you throw up!”

      ——————————————————————————–

      A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, “Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!”. The woman says, “Me too, you’ve been eating grass for the past ten minutes!”

      ——————————————————————————–

      A couple just got married and on the night of their honeymoon before passionate love, the wife tells the husband, “Please be gentile, I’m still a virgin.” The husband being shocked, replied, “How’s this possible? You’ve been married three times before.” The wife responds, “Well, my first husband was a gynecologist and all he wanted to do was look at it. My second husband was a psychiatrist and all he wanted to do was talk about it. Finally, my third husband was a stamp collector and all he wanted to do was…oh, do I miss him!”

      ——————————————————————————–

      On their first night together, a newlywed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom showered and wearing a beautiful robe. The proud husband says, “My dear, we are married now, you can open your robe.” The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished.”Oh, oh, aaaahhh,” he exclaims, “My God you are so beautiful, let me take your picture. Puzzled she asks, “My picture?” He answers, “Yes my dear, so I can carry your beauty next to my heart forever”.

      She smiles and he takes her picture, and then he heads into the bathroom to shower. He comes out wearing his robe and the new wife asks, “Why do you wear a robe? We are married now.” At that the man opens his robe and she exclaims, “oh, OH, OH MY, let me get a picture”. He beams and asks why and she answers, “So I can get it enlarged!”

      ——————————————————————————–

      John just graduated from clinical psychology and opens his first office. After some successful advertising he is astounded to have nearly 300 people wanting to be in group therapy. John decides to rent a big hall and invite the entire group. To break the ice, and to get the therapy started, John decides to ask a show of hands how often the attendees had sex. He first asks for a show of hands of all the people who had sex almost every night. A modest number of hands were raised. He then asks, how many had sex once a week? This time a larger number of hands were raised. John then asks how many had sex once or twice a month? Again a few hands were raised. After John polled his group several more times he noticed one guy sitting off to the side with this huge beaming grin on his face. John noticed that the guy never raised his hand, so he asked him how often he had sex. The guy said, �Once a year!� To John’s dismay, he responds, �Why are you so happy getting sex only once a year?� The grinning guy responds, “Tonight�s the night!”

      ——————————————————————————–

      Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren’t enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, “I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!” The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he’s had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, “That’s funny, I dreamed I was skiing!”

      ——————————————————————————–

      One day Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation, called his vice-president, Dave, into his office and said, “We’re making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off.” Dave looked at Mr. Smith and said, “Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I don’t know whom to fire.”

      The next morning Dave waited for his employees to arrive. Barbara was the first to come in, so Dave said, “Barbara, I’ve got a problem. You see, I’ve got to lay you or Jack off and I don’t know what to do?” Barbara replied, “You’d better jack off. I’ve got a headache.”

  12. OMG, did no one watch BBAD last night, making up stuff about other contestants. Spencer making comments about Elisa getting expelled in grade 5 (10 yrs. old) he just can’t get off child porn. Andy saying how all the girls and some of the guys gave him bj’s, these people need to be sued.. GM had some pretty bad things to say too, between her F— , this and F— that,and eating, had to turn it off.. Please give this money to Brittney’s daughter 🙁

    • Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can’t hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.

      He pointed to his eye meaning “I”, pointed to his knee meaning “need”, then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating.

      The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, “What the fuck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!”.

      The other guy says, “I knew that! I was just trying to tell you – I’m coming!”

      ——————————————————————————–

      One day an at home wife is alone and the doorbell rings.

      She opens it to a guy, “Hi, is Tony home?”

      The wife replies, “No, he went to the store, but you can wait here if you want.”

      So they sit down and after a while of silence the friend says “You know Sara, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I’d give you a hundred buck just to see one.”

      Sara thinks about it for a second and figures, what the hell – a hundred bucks! She opens her robe and shows one to him for a few seconds. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table. They sit there a while longer and guy then says “That was so amazing I’ve got to see both of them. I’ll give you another 100 dollars if I could just see the both of them together.”

      Sara amazed by the offer sits and thinks a bit about it and thinks, heck, why not? So she opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long chance to cop a look.

      A while later Tony arrives back home from the store. The wife goes up to him, “You know, your friend Chris came over.”

      Tony thinks about it for a second and says, “Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?”

      ——————————————————————————–

      A kindergarten teacher one day is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word “definitely” to them. To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a sentence. The first student raised his hand and said “The sky is definitely blue”. The teacher said, “Well, that isn’t entirely correct, because sometimes it’s gray and cloudy”.

      Another student says, “Grass is definitely green.” The teacher again replies “If grass doesn’t get enough water it turns brown, so that isn’t really correct either.”

      Another student raises his hand and asks the teacher “Do farts have lumps?” The teacher looked at him and said “No…But that isn’t really a question you want to ask in class discussion.” So the student replies, “Then I definitely shit my pants.”

      ——————————————————————————–

      Wife : “I dreamt they were auctioning off dicks. The big ones went for ten dollars and the thick ones went for twenty dollars.”

      Husband : “How about the ones like mine?”

      Wife : “Those they gave away.”

      Husband : “I had a dream too…I dreamt they were auctioning off cunts. The pretty ones went for a thousand dollars, and the little tight ones went for two thousand.”

      Wife : “And how much for the ones like mine?”

      Husband : “That’s where they held the auction.”

      ——————————————————————————–

      The queen of England was visiting one of Canada’s top hospitals, and during her tour of the floors she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating.

      “Oh my god!”, said the Queen, “That’s disgraceful, what is the meaning of this???”

      The doctor leading the tour explains, “I’m sorry your ladyship, this man has a very serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn’t do that five times a day, they would explode and he would most likely die instantly.”

      “Oh, I am sorry” said the Queen.

      On the next floor they passed a room where a young nurse was giving a patient a blow job.

      “Oh my God”, said the Queen, “What’s happening in there?”

      The Doctor replied, “Same problem, better health plan.”

      ——————————————————————————–

      A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, “Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole.” The grandfather replies, “I’ll bet you five dollars you can’t. It’s too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole.”

      The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. The boy then proceeds to put the worm back into the hole. The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs into the house.

      Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the boy another five dollars. The little boy says, “Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars.” The grandfather replies, “I know. That’s from your Grandma.”

      ——————————————————————————–

      Dirty Little Matt is sitting in the back of math class, obviously not paying any attention, when the teacher calls his name.

      “Yeah teach?” he replies.

      “If there are three ducks on a fence and you shoot one of them with a shotgun, how many are left?” asks the teacher.

      Matt answers “Well, teach, if I shoot one of them with a shotgun, the loud noise is gonna make them all fly off.”

      “No, Matt, there will be two left if you shoot one with a shotgun, but I like the way you’re thinking.” the teacher responds.

      “Well, teach, I’ve got a question for you… There are 3 women that come out of an ice-cream parlor, one is biting her ice-cream cone, one is licking it, and one is sucking on it. Which one is married?”

      The teacher, a little taken back by the question answers, “Well, uh, gee Matt, I guess the one that’s sucking on the ice cream.”

      Matt replies “No teach, the one that has the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you’re thinking!”

      ——————————————————————————–

      A woman posts an ad in the news paper that looks like this…

      ‘Looking for man with these qualifications; won’t beat me up; or run away from me and is great in bed.’

      She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day. The man she met said, “Hi, I’m Bob. I have no arms so I won’t beat you up and no legs so I won’t run away.”

      So the lady says, “What makes you think you are great in bed?”

      Bob replies, “I rang the door bell didn’t I?”

      ——————————————————————————–

      Three sisters wanted to get married, but their parents couldn’t afford it so they had all of them on the same day. They also couldn’t afford to go on a honeymoon so they all stayed home with their new hubbies. That night the mother got up because she couldn’t sleep.

      When she went past her oldest daughter’s room she heard screaming. Then she went to her second daughters room and she heard laughing. Then she went to her youngest daughter’s room and she couldn’t hear anything.

      The next morning when the men left the mother asked her oldest daughter, “Why were you screaming last night?” The daughter replied “Mom you always told me if something hurt I should scream.”

      “That’s true.” She looked at her second daughter. “Why were you laughing so much last night?”

      The daughter replied “Mom you always said that if something tickled you should laugh.”

      “That’s also true.” Then the mother looked at her youngest daughter. “Why was it so quiet in your room last night?”

      The youngest daughter replied “Mom you always told me I should never talk with my mouth full.”

      ——————————————————————————–

      A depressed young woman was so desperate that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. When she went down to the docks, a handsome young sailor noticed her tears, took pity on her, and said, “Look, you’ve got a lot to live for. I’m off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I’ll take good care of you and bring you food every day.” Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, “I’ll keep you happy, and you’ll keep me happy.”

      The girl nodded yes, after all, what did she have to lose? That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.

      Three weeks later, during a routine search, she was discovered by the captain. ‘What are you doing here?’ the captain asked. She got up off the ground and explained, “I have an arrangement with one of the sailors. He’s taking me to Europe, and he’s screwing me.”

      The captain looked at her, “He sure is lady, this is the Staten Island Ferry.’

      ——————————————————————————–

      A boy is at school and he hears the older kids talking about pussy, and their bitch. The boy confused by this goes to his mother. “Mom”, the boy asks, “What’s a pussy?”

      The mother being startled by this thinks quick and finds the closest dictionary and opens it up to a picture of a cat and says “Son, that is a pussy.” the son then asks “What’s a bitch?” The mother again thinking quickly opens to a picture of a dog and says “Son, this is a bitch.”

      The son walks away still confused, and sees his father watching television. The son walks up to his father and says “Dad, what’s a pussy?” The father doesn’t want to miss the baseball game so he quickly whips out his Penthouse magazine to the centerfold, grabs a marker and draws a circle around the vagina and says “Son, this is a pussy!”

      The son, now starting to understand what the older boys are talking about asks “Then, what is a bitch?”

      The dad replies, “That’s everything outside the circle!”

      ——————————————————————————–

      One Christmas Eve, Santa Claus comes down the chimney and is startled by a beautiful 19 year old blonde. She said “Santa, will you stay with me?”, Santa replied, “Ho Ho Ho gotta go, gotta go, gotta deliver these toys to good girls and boys.”

      So she took off her night gown, wearing only a bra and panties, she asked “Santa, now will you stay with me?”

      “Ho Ho Ho gotta go, gotta go, gotta deliver these toys to gook girls and boys.”

      She takes off everything and says “Santa, now will you stay with me?”

      Santa replies “Gotta stay, gotta stay, can’t get up the chimney with my dick this way!”

      ——————————————————————————–

      A woman and her little boy were walking through a park in New York and they pass two squirrels having sex. The little boy asks his mom, “Mommy, mommy, what are they doing?” The lady responded, “They’re making a sandwich.” Then they pass two dogs having sex and the little boy again asks what they were doing. His mother again replied they were making a sandwich. A couple of days later the little boy walks in on his mother and father and said “Mommy, Daddy, you must be making a sandwich because, Mommy has mayonnaise all over her mouth!!!”

      ——————————————————————————–

      This guy wakes up out of a deep sleep and, feeling real horny, nudges his wife awake and asks, “Why don’t we get it on, eh?” She replies, “I have an appointment at the gynecologist tomorrow and you know I don’t like to make love the night before.” So the husband agrees and rolled back over and started to go back to sleep.

      A few minutes later, he nudges his wife again and asks, “You don’t by any chance have a dentist’s appointment tomorrow, do you?”

      ——————————————————————————–

      Two five year old boys are standing at the toilet to pee. One says, “Your thing doesn’t have any skin on it!”.

      “I’ve been circumcised.”, the other replied.

      “What’s that mean?”

      “It means they cut the skin off the end.”

      “How old were you when it was cut off?”

      “My mom said I was two days old.”

      “Did it hurt?”, the kid asked inquiringly.

      “You bet it hurt, I didn’t walk for a year!”

      ——————————————————————————–

      A teacher was wrapping up class, and started talking about tomorrow’s final exam. He said there would be no excuses for not showing up tomorrow, barring a dire medical condition or an immediate family member’s death. One smart ass, male student said, “What about extreme sexual exhaustion?”, and the whole classroom burst into laughter.

      After the laughter had subsided, the teacher glared at the student, and said, “Not an excuse, you can use your other hand to write.”

      ——————————————————————————–

      A woman is in the delivery room giving birth, the doctor tells her to push. She does and the baby’s head pops out. The doctor says, “Oh! Your baby has slanted eyes.” To which she replies “Yeah I heard them Chinese men were pretty good, so I decided to give them a try.�

      The doctor shrugs it off and tells her to push again. This time the baby’s body comes out. “Holy Shit, your baby has a white body,” the doctor says. “Yeah I heard them white men were pretty good so I decided to give them a try,” she said.

      The doctor shrugs it off again and tells her to push again and that will be it. So she does and the legs come out. “Holy Shit! Your baby has black legs,” the doctor said. “Yeah I heard them black men were pretty good so I decided to give them a try,” she said.

      So the doctor shrugs it off again and ties the umbilical cord and slaps the baby on the ass, it starts to cry. The doctor turns to the woman and asks, “How are you going to deal with a baby who has slanted eyes, white body, and black legs?” The woman replies “I’m just glad it didn’t bark!”

  13. Hayden on survivor

    I wish Andy would of start thinking for himself he should of kept mccrae but no Andy the rat listen to Spencer and GM I would of had Helen or elissa to win or maybe Amanda I don’t like Andy GM or spencer

  14. This is a BB blog.
    Take ur scented candles, crate and barrel cookware, your strings and ceiling wax and other fancy stuff….and divide it all between all your imaginary friends. Set out tea cups and make a little tea party in your yard. You can spout ALL your very important and learned opinions to them.
    No one else cares what you think. — You can put that in your 995.00 free shipping purse and take it to the bank “dr”
    Thank you.

    • Profile photo of suzyq

      Aw, gosh darnit, If all the humble folk can talk about their lives why can’t I. You seem to know yankee candles are scented, so you can’t be too much of a yokel. Why can’t you just enjoy yourself. I thought maybe you all regular people would like to rub elbows with your betters once in a wile. Or, as my old uncle Philo used to say. “Fuck them if they can’t take a joke”. That Philo was such a card. Fell overboard in terrible yachting incident.

  15. I feel that last night BB episode was a waste of an hour of TV time. I sure hope the final show is better. I still do not want Andy to win. I think he is very immature and a very mean vile person. When the season started I actually liked him and was hoping for him to go far but not anymore. He showed his true colours. I never cared for Spencer. I thought he was lazy. GM is very crude and not much of a lady. Just my opinion on the final three.
    Thanks to Steve for the blog. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your postings and I also enjoyed the majority of the comments.

  16. Here’s a question: who’s the worst of the F3 you want win?

  17. You camt let the public vote thats how we got here……..
    …the part of public that watches reality t.v is small… and most of that group is screwed up….and most of them vote the same screwed up way…so as you all get mad at CBS and casting ppl…its a result of years of fact and info gathering…and the info concludes…us ppl watch so much nonsense. .that they jus feed the beast whit going with what sells…I give you BB15

    🙂 retardz

  18. Andy was funny last night he was asking who or what this or that one was, like who was the biggest AH and so he volunteered Jerremy i started laughing yelling at the TV no you you AH. Backstabbing SOB.

  19. BB tried something new this yr with MVP (it failed) but they should have learned from BB First season, small groups can control the game outside. This is not UK that has millions of votes this is USA thats why season 1 was changed from vote out by US voting to the present form of game, by useing MVP it caused an unblanced game where some the more interesting people made and early exit. I would have liked to see Howard and Nick stay around longer they were very interesting people, and the first 5 people were some of the strongest that played.

  20. http://www.celebdirtylaundry.com/2013/big-brother-15-spoiler-andy-herren-wins-winner/

    Not a spoiler…just someone’s thought about how an Andy win could bring something positive to this season.

    • Obviously this person has not been watching BBAD, Sunday night for sure! Things Andy and Spencer said, should get those men sued by other house guests. I can’t believe anything can save this season especially Andy or Spencer. Don’t get me wrong, GM’s mouth is not much better, but she should be a clear winner in the final 3. I so wish the jury house could see BBAD, they would probably walk out without any money, rather than vote for any of them.

  21. GOT BIG BROTHER?!!..UMM hello, this is a site for a reality show called Big Brother Junkies, incase you have forgotten this isn’t spew your problems & whatever is rattling around in that twisted head… which lets be honest here…I wonder if McCrae is still in a showmance with Amanda or is he waiting until the show is over to part ways? Also, I cant imagine what Nick is thinking at this point!

  22. Yesssss, please update TMJ, we are stuck with TMT and TRTMT, they both suck!

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