I wasn’t going to write any more posts about Big Brother 14, but I find myself sitting here a day later with plenty to say about the season that had me busy all summer long. First, I want to give Ian a huge congratulations, despite my tweets where I felt Dan deserved the prize, there is absolutely no doubt that Ian deserved it as well. This isn’t like choosing between a badass player and a floater. The best two players in the house were seated in the final 2 chairs, and the best man really did win. This is what reality TV should be about, and I also wanted to give credit to Ian for taking Dan despite all the threats and harassment by Danielle all week. He chose the harder road by facing the master manipulator, and came out on top.
When I say he failed his initial goal, it was pretty evident early on that Ian’s intentions this season was to make a mark someway or another. He labeled himself as a ‘villain’ while playing pool, and this was because he was doing what is done a billion times every reality show, he was playing multiple alliances. It appeared he was just there for the experience and was already auditioning for a call back in a future season. At the final 4, he announced he was now able to coach a future houseguest (because Britney made final 4), but seriously who thinks of that? He then accepted his defeat while sitting next to Dan before a miracle was performed and Shane was voted out of the house.
That said, Ian didn’t win because he was the ‘villain’, in fact he won because of the opposite. Dan was the villain, and Ian was not. Ian appeared to be the kid with the big heart who’s lifelong goal was to step foot inside the Big Brother house, and his passion of the game probably saved his season a few times. Boogie saved him very early in the season, Dan and Britney took a pounding to keep his secret alliance away from Boogie/Frank, and then the big blindside on Shane at the end of the season. Why did they save him? Because he is a nice kid, played smart and aligned with the right people (“The Quack Pack”) instead of the stronger, but bigger targets in Frank and Boogie. Choosing the correct alliance is a skill in itself, and quietly jumping from a sinking ship is not to be ignored.
Boogie was right, Shane/Danielle/Dan/Britney was a very solid alliance, and that’s why he tried to get involved in it. While Boogie managed to use them for a week, he completely screwed himself by already thinking of turning on his alliance a week later. Ian, on the other hand, appeared to be a much more loyal soldier for them and that allowed him to go very far in the game.
In the end, while Dan was the master at controlling every aspect of the game, his big failure was not knowing his market (or in this case – jury). He even joked about it in the diary room about how he can sell ice to an Eskimo.. That’s exactly what he did, and that’s why he lost the game. While Dan was selling ice to people who don’t need it (and then making them hate him), Ian was playing the smart route and setting up shop in Arizona making a killing selling ice. Dan may win bragging rights on who is the bigger con artist, but Ian will be in his ice sculptured mansion rolling in profits.
The trend with reality shows continues, and probably will for many years. Get out the strong people first, promise the world to the weak, use them to get to the finals and then wonder why those upset weak people no longer support you. Strong competitors respect that style of play, but they’re usually sitting on their couch from home watching the season play out. Dan played the stronger manipulating game, made the season entertaining as hell, but failed to learn from the mistakes of people like Russell Hantz crying at the finale of Survivor after he lost to a very upset jury.
If you’re going to bite that hand that can give you half a million dollars, do yourself a favor and just nibble on it.. don’t bite off the whole thing.
Thanks for the great season to any cast members who read this, and thanks to all my readers! I’ll be back for Big Brother 15, I hope you will be too!
First off, I wrote a thread earlier talking about my memories this summer and the support in the comments section was completely unexpected and overwhelming. I wanted to take a minute to thank everyone for their kind words. Blogging becomes really enjoyable the more people read it and interact with me, and it feels like I’m watching the live feeds with hundreds of my friends. That leads me to this, despite the commercials for next year, Big Brother 15 wasn’t officially announced until today. This means I will be back blogging away next year, so bookmark this site, follow me on twitter or facebook and get any updates throughout the winter.
Ok, now to the moment we’ve all been waiting for. The live show! In just 30 minutes from now (as I type this paragraph), Big Brother will begin and we’ll get to see the rest of the endurance competition (Dan won), the second challenge (Ian won), and the live final challenge between Ian and Dan. The winner of that challenge will determine who sits next to him in the finals.
Then, we’ll hopefully get to hear the jury ask some real tough questions (unlike the pathetic jury from Survivor last season that I still grumble over), watch Dan make a speech that will try to win people over despite stabbing almost every one of them in the back, and either Ian or Danielle flutter for words (Yes, I’m pretty confident Dan will be f2). Finally, we’ll see who wins $500k, and also who wins America’s Choice and then that will be it for the summer. Sad times…
Well, that’s it for the summer. I’m not sure how I feel about the outcome at the end. Ian certainly deserved to win against anyone else, but Dan outplayed half the house and lost 6-1. Reality show juries vote with their hearts instead of brains these days.
The Winner of Big Brother 14 is:
America’s Vote goes to:
Here are the votes:
Shane – Ian
Danielle – Dan
Jenn – Ian
Britney – Ian
Frank – Ian
Joe – Ian
Ashley – Ian
10:27pm est – The jury asked a bunch of decent questions. For some reason they kept crediting Ian with creating the quack pack, but Dan jumped in to squash that. In addition, Danielle asked Ian about his F2 deal with Dan, but Dan admitted he would have taken Danielle. It’s clear Ian is trying to play the nice guy role, while Dan is owning up to his behavior.
10:18pm est – The jury is brought on stage
10:12pm est – Ian chooses Dan to try and beat the best in the finals. Could work against him.
Final HoH battle:
Ian wins HoH 5-2, let’s see who he chooses.
9:52pm est – This is only the first part of Danielle bullying the crap out of Ian all week. He had a rough week.
9:37pm est – So Ian threw the competition as well? How does Dan not win it all?
9:30pm est – Here we go, it’s on finally. Note, I am pretty sure all the former houseguests are there, except for Willie. He “couldn’t make it”
9:00pm est – Still waiting for the episode to begin
Well, all good things must come to an end, and after tonight, Big Brother 14 will be in the books. It’s been a great summer with plenty of drama, blindsides, backdoors and the stuff we all have come to enjoy during a Big Brother season. While there has been plenty of downtime and slow weeks, overall I’d have to say this was a pretty damn good season. At first, I was very apprehensive about players re-entering the game – yet again, but by allowing them to coach was a decent twist.
While they clearly failed at the coach aspect, only giving each one 3 players for an entire summer (should have been 4-5 each), that made it clear re-entering the game was planned from the start. They were on a pace to end the show in late July if none of the coaches pushed the button, and that would have been without the extremely fantastic final few live shows we were able to watch. With millions of lost ad revenue and live feed sales, I’m going to guess the production planned the entire thing including who would push the button and who wouldn’t.
Theories aside, I’m glad it happened the way it did. Until the merge, the biggest entertainment the show had was the battle between Willie and Frank, and all the drama Russell’s brother brought to the table. When Willie got the boot, things certainly slowed down for a brief period until the merge happened and the coaches were no longer sleeping through the summer.
Anyway, now that I think about it, I’m going to list some of my favorite moments from the summer…
- Like I mentioned above, the Willie boot. When things started going Frank’s way, you knew it was going to be a rough week for Willie. Then the feeds came back live to see Willie pouting at the kitchen table eating pork rinds. Suddenly some yelling happened, and poof.. feeds down. All types of rumors circulated about a fight in the house, Willie throwing food, headbutting Joe, etc. While it wasn’t as serious as the rumors, it was still enough to get Willie evicted from the house.
- Boogie somehow managing to convince the fab four to align with them, even if it was just for a week, and end up voting out Janelle. This was certainly one of Boogies finer moments in his Big Brother career. Sure, he won All-Stars, but to pull such a move without the brilliant Dr. Will guiding him was simply impressive.
- Ian’s super awkward dates with Ashley. The first actually didn’t go too bad, but the second was just them sitting around a table not saying a word to each other pretending things weren’t incredibly uncomfortable.
- The party after the sushi dinner with Wil getting wasted, spin the bottle, Ashley making out with half the house, Ian streaking and Wil marching into the pool wearing his birthday suit.
- Live-blogging Dan’s funeral. That was probably the first time as a blogger I was able to capture moment by moment such a game changing event and write about it as it was happening. Granted I’ve only blogged BB13 and BB14, but that was a night I won’t forget any time soon. Of course, the actual funeral was a masterpiece, but CBS loves it so much I’m sure you’ll see repeats of it again tonight.
- Going on my one major vacation a year and my server decides to crap out the very next day. Sitting in a hotel room dealing with all types of tech support trying to get things moving, waking up every 2 hours to check on things. While this may not be a favorite moment of the summer, it was certainly memorable.
- The live double eviction episodes. Both were extremely entertaining to watch, and the first was probably the best live show I’ve seen in Big Brother. Frank, hanging by a thread managed to win PoV after Ian came out as a betrayer of their alliance. Watching all the people complain on twitter about the conspiracy theories that Frank had 3-4 veto symbols.. completely ignoring that Frank was the best athlete out there.
- The second double eviction show, which I thought was going to be a snoozer, but when Dan clearly had a chance to get Ian out of the game and was going for it, that made the live veto another intense competition. You could see the desperation in the eyes of Ian as he worked that maze like a maniac, and then his scream of relief when he won. Incredible.
- Finally, the last live eviction of the season when Dan convinced Danielle to save him from the block, so he can get the blood on his hands and vote out Ian. However, he chose to vote out Shane leaving Danielle, and many of the viewers completely stunned for a long time. Danielle had a perfect chance to go to the final 3 with whoever she chose, but putting it in Dan’s hand should go down like someone being evicted from Survivor while holding the immunity idol.
I will be live blogging the finale tonight, and it starts immediately following Survivor’s premiere. I’m pretty sure it’s at 9:30 est and should be another interesting episode as we get to see the jury yet again, and see if Ian actually throws the final to Dan.
Many people will probably be watching the show and not search for Big Brother info, so while I have you, be sure to follow me on twitter or facebook for information on Big Brother 15. And if I don’t say it tonight, thanks for reading and commenting all summer. You guys make blogging worth it!
I thought it was going to be a very dull week in the Big Brother 14 house, because typically the final week is. I haven’t even asked people to sign up to the live feeds since Thursday because I fully anticipated the three of them sitting around the house staring at the walls. Granted, they have been doing that for the most part, however occasionally Danielle flares up like the house hemorrhoid and unloads on Ian with rage.
If you flashback the livefeeds to 9:09pm bbt, you’ll find Danielle giving Ian about a 40 minute lecture on how she’s not mad at him, not bullying him or bashing him, yet does all of those things immediately following. She rants about how hard she’s had it in the game from day 1 (riding Dan’s back isn’t hard), and how much she’s done for the alliance (nothing), yet downplays Ian’s season. This makes her either completely delusional or dumb… While Dan has played a phenomenal game this season, one of the key reasons the “quack pack” made it as far as they did was Ian’s willingness to play the ‘villain’ role of the season. Without him completely turning on his coach and friend, there is 0% chance the final four would have been made up of their alliance.
By Ian playing the mole and Dan taking the punishment for it, this completely took any heat at all from the remaining houseguests and allowed them to target Boogie while they had the numbers. The only thing Danielle did the entire season was be a puppet to Dan whenever she won HoH, and to keep going back to a person who lies to her over and over. Is it Ian’s fault that Dan couldn’t trust her enough to warn her about the ‘funeral’ in advance? No, it’s just that Danielle is a pretty mediocre player who happened to get lucky and ride the back of a strong player and good alliance.
Danielle is this season’s Porsche, and because she pretty much did nothing in the house, she may actually wind up with 2-3 votes if she made the F2. She’ll earn the votes of those who are too bitter and butthurt to vote for the better player (either Ian or Dan), but luckily I don’t think there will be as many this season as BB13.
I know this is a pure opinion piece, but watching Ian talk to himself for quite some time on the hammock after the wrath of Danielle finished got annoying and I’ll be glad when he doesn’t have to suffer her any longer.
I know updates have been slow since the endurance competition on Thursday night, but the reality is the house is slow right now. You have ObiDan working his Padawan Danielle while simultaneously keeping his alliance with Ian together. He’s making sure both sides are covered heading into the live show on Wednesday night, so regardless who wins HoH, he’ll find himself in the f2 where he can spray his mist on the jury for his $500k prize.
Dan won the endurance competition, so he gets an automatic pass to the final round of the 3-part HoH competition, which will air live on Wednesday night. This means Ian and Danielle were squared off to fight each other for the chance to compete against Dan. The competition was going to be a physical challenge, and it sounded like it was a big one as it took quite awhile to build.
Well, the results are in…
Ian won part 2 of the competition, and he will face Dan on Wednesday night. The winner will be guaranteed in the final 2, and he will choose his competition.
Now, it’s time for the mind tricks to take place. Dan already had a plan for this before the competition even began, and discussed it with Danielle to prepare. Should she lose, Dan was going to visibly celebrate with Ian “exposing” his f2 plan in front of her. That apparently happened because once the feeds went live (around 9:05pm bbt), Danielle could be found screaming at Ian. Dan’s plan is for Danielle to intimidate Ian for a few days with empty threats about how she’ll taint the jury and not vote for him if he takes Dan to the final 2.
At first it didn’t make sense, why would Dan want Danielle to scare Ian into taking her to the f2? It’s simple, he (Dan) thinks Ian will feel so secure about their alliance, that he’ll actually be willing to throw the final 2 and let Dan do the dirty work by eliminating Danielle. It’s another ‘out of the box’ move that I don’t think even Ian will expect, and it’s quite possible it may work. While Ian is saying he’s not going to throw the competition, based on how Dan has worked the house all season, I wouldn’t be at all shocked to see Dan win the HoH, and then give one last blindside. This time, instead of taking Ian to the finals like he promised, he’ll take Danielle and likely have a better chance to win it all.
Sure, Dan can still outright win the HoH, but against Ian in a trivia style challenge, that is going to be a tough task to accomplish. It’s almost guaranteed Ian can make it in the final 2 if he plays things right, and it’s also possible Dan’s plan could backfire and Ian will be too scared to take him to the finals.
I’m not sure how interesting the feeds will be this week, but I do know Wednesday night is going to be a very entertaining finale.
As much as I’ve been against the veterans returning to the house, especially after the annoyance last season with Rachel crying every other day, I have to say two people made BB14 very fun to watch this summer. Those people were Mike Boogie or Dan Gheesling, both veterans. Due to the manner in which they returned, this allowed for them to bond with newbies instead of instantly forming a power alliance from day 1. It also didn’t hurt they chose people like Boogie and Janelle who had a negative history together.
I want to sympathize with the newbies and say they had an unfair advantage, but they didn’t. In BB13, they easily had a huge unfair advantage from day 1, but Dan has been near the exit more times than I can count on one hand, yet nobody pulled the trigger. Dan could have been gone before the coaches even entered as players, but he somehow dodged that bullet a few times. He was a target of Frank’s for weeks, and even when Dan was hanging from the ledge of a cliff, Frank decided to pull him up and give him another shot. If and when Dan ends up bringing Ian to the final 2 despite multiple promises to bring Danielle, she’ll be the fool, not him. I don’t care about swearing on things, I think that’s completely overblown and I bet half the people who complain about it would piss away their dignity for a legitimate shot at life changing money as well. (look at what people have to subject themselves to on fear factor for a much smaller prize)
Now that I’m off my high horse, it’s back to the question at hand. If Dan ends up making it to the finals (which is very likely), will the season be considered a failure if he does not win the grand prize? I know it will certainly leave a bitter taste in my mouth to see the jury hand $500k to either Danielle or Ian if Dan is sitting next to them. Don’t get me wrong, Ian is probably second deserving in the house and has been since Frank left, but there is nobody this season that has been able to manipulate people and control the flow of the game the way Dan has. Not even close. Every HoH that wasn’t Franks was basically run by ObiDan, and even Frank’s final one was controlled by him.
What are your thoughts on the season if Dan doesn’t win it all?
Moving on, I’m sure many are wondering where the house stands right now. Well, Dan actually convinced Danielle to drop during the endurance competition last night and will automatically advance to the final part in the 3-part HoH competition. Next up, Ian will face Danielle most likely tomorrow in a physical competition, and the winner of that will square off against Dan during the live 90 minute finale on Wednesday. On that night, the HoH winner will then pick the person he wants to sit next to in the final 2, and the jury will likely vote for Dan to win it all.
Like I mentioned above, follow me on twitter for any random updates, but I will also be updating the blog after part 2 so we know who will square off Wednesday night.
After an incredible live eviction show, CBS ended without really telling us much. Most assumed there was going to be an endurance challenge, but as the feeds remained on trivia for hours, I even had my doubts. Well, around 11:35pm est, the feeds went up and it is indeed an endurance challenge! Be sure to sign up here for free to watch.
I’ll probably talk more about the show between updates, but right now Ian, Dan and Danielle are hanging from hooks and being dipped into water during a makeshift rainstorm. In addition to that, they’re being slammed against the wall you see above. I don’t know how much longer they can take it, but if there was an endurance challenge I wanted to see, it would be these three.
Keep checking back for updates on the challenge, or sign up to the live feeds to watch!
9:25pm bbt – Like I said, you can only resist the mist for so long. Danielle falls, she will face off with Ian for part 2 of the HoH competition.
9:23pm bbt – Dan is trying to convince Danielle to drop, she is resisting it so far, but you can only resist the mist for so long!
9:15pm bbt – It’s down to two very wet players hanging on for a quick pass to the final round of the 3 part HoH challenge
9:00pm bbt – Both Danielle and Dan still hanging in there. I’m still shocked Ian is out
8:48pm bbt – Ian is down, he couldn’t handle the dips in the water.
Here it is, the last Thursday night live blog of the season. It’s been a fun run, a lot of fantastic Thursday nights, and luckily for Dan it seems we’ll have one more to go before the finale on Wednesday night. Whether you love him or hate him, Dan has played a phenomenal game this season and it may go down in Big Brother history as the best – if he finishes it off with a win. Few remember second place, so in order to cap off this incredible run, he needs to win the grand prize next Wednesday, but he’s making his last push starting tonight.
Before I begin, since this is one of the last nights people will be flooding here for spoilers, I want to mention my twitter and facebook accounts. If you have either, make sure to follow so you’re on top of any updates for Big Brother 15. Also, now is a great time to sign up for the 3 day free live feeds, because you’re going to want to watch the epic endurance battle tonight.
Watch the endurance challenge here
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I also want it to be known, I don’t like when veterans come in and play against rookies. I love All-Star seasons, and All-Rookie seasons, but hate when CBS combines them like they’ve done for Big Brother and Survivor. I’ve been pulling for the newbies to evict the veterans all season, but at some point (right around Dan’s ‘funeral’), you simply have to tip your cap to a person who is head and shoulders above his competition. Dan may be the sole reason that veterans never mix with newbies on the future of Big Brother because of how silly he is making them all look. The veterans last season were ok, Rachel barely beat a floater in the end, but this season almost every veteran was so good that had they not forced the ‘mentor’ routine for a few weeks, it would almost guaranteed be all 4 of them in the finals (with Britney getting 4th place again).
Enough rambling, if all goes as planned by Dan, this will be a very entertaining episode that will leave Danielle more shocked than the night Dan said she was dead to him. I will probably also use this thread as the endurance challenge updates…
10:00pm est – I’m not sure when the endurance challenge will take place, I was under the impression it would start tonight. I will update this thread and twitter if it does.. stay tuned.
9:59pm est – Dan is spraying his mist all over Danielle to quickly regain her trust. It will work, she’s terrible.
9:53pm est – Everyone is still in shock over this. Incredible. Sign up to the live feeds because the endurance comp is going to be crazy.
9:48pm est – And Dan votes to evict ……. SHANE!!!!
Danielle saves Dan. Shane and Ian are on the block. Ian looks surprised.
9:38pm est – Julie knows something is up, she’s practically wetting herself on stage thinking about a Shane blindside tonight
9:24pm est – I need to see how Ian lost this veto. And drop the stupid quack thing, it’s stupid!
9:18pm est – Frank and Britney fighting in the jury room is certainly more entertaining than watching Shane and Danielle on a date.
9:09pm est – Honestly I had no clue that Dan told Danielle to nominate him. The guy is just dominating, purely dominating.
9:03pm est – Seems like jury hasn’t been played yet, but we’re going to have to suffer through some Danielle clips first. The jury part looks good though
9:00pm est – Here we goooooooo!
8:15pm est – 45 minutes to go until the live episode! Are you excited??
Tonight will be the last live show of the season before the finale, and it may end up being the best of the season. If you’re a fan of fairytale endings, you may not be too happy with the results, but if you are a fan of betrayal, strategy and dumb moves that reality shows provide, well buckle in.
For this third and most likely final act of the season, Dan apparently convinced Danielle to use the PoV on him tonight, and be replaced by Shane. Keep in mind, this is the same season that he had these gems:
- After being a huge target of Franks, it seemed like his time was finally over. Frank had him on the block and it appeared certain that Dan would be heading home that week. However, after planning his own Big Brother funeral, he opened up to the one person in the house who truly despised him and became allies. Frank then convinced Jenn to use the PoV and save his ‘arch rival’ from eviction, which ended up sending Britney packing.
- The very next week, Dan went and turned on his ally, voted out Frank, yet remained in good graces with people like Jenn.
- During a live show, Dan won HoH and attempted to get Ian out of the house, but convinced him he was a pure pawn up there. Ian then saved himself with PoV, and ended up forgiving Dan for it and never even ‘returned the favor’ as a gesture to the house.
Honestly, the list is much longer than that, but I didn’t want to fully go through all of Dan’s masterful plans this summer. However, tonight’s plan is going to be the ultimate betrayal and shocker for both Danielle and Shane. Like I mentioned above, if it goes through, Shane will replace Dan on the block with the promise to vote out Ian. Dan on the other hand fully intends to get rid of Shane now that he’ll be the only vote. This will not only shock Shane, but completely shock his one trusted ally in the house – Danielle. She’ll be left confused, puzzled, and in tears as she is lied to yet again, and then realizes there is nobody left in the house for her.
Once Shane is removed, it will kick off a 3 part HoH challenge, the first likely being endurance and that will likely happen tonight. This will be the last great opportunity to watch an epic battle as each person will feel they HAVE to win the challenge or they’ll go home.
I will certainly be live blogging the event, but this should be a fantastic endurance competition and worth signing up to the feeds for. I only promote the feeds when I think it’s going to be entertaining, but thanks to Dan, they should be.
After the Big Brother 14 live feeds being down for about 30+ hours (watch them ALL DAY, EVERY DAY), they came back up after I was already sawing some logs, so I had to find out who Danielle actually nominated this morning. Not only did I find that out, but I also found out who won the most important competition of the week – the PoV!
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I promise they won’t be down that long again this season! (I think)
Let’s start with nominations, these were not really important. Danielle could have collected all her tears from the season in a little jar, and threw it all over the memory wall, and nominated the most dry player remaining. That strategy would have been just as effective as Danielle trying to analyze anything because this week is all about the PoV. I’m sure Danielle didn’t use the tear method and probably fried her brain figuring out who to nominate, and these two names came out of her head:
Ian and Dan
That’s correct, Danielle nominated Dan! Maybe she did to the tear jar approach because I was mostly expecting an Ian and Shane nomination with some “deep” meaning behind it. By deep I mean some junk about how Dan is like her father and Shane has been her partner and it was tough to choose between the two blah blah. Just say you drew straws, anyone with half a brain wouldn’t take offense to being nominated this week. (hmm, maybe that’s why Shane wasn’t nominated… I kid, partly)
Now, on to the most important competition of the week. The Power of Veto!
If Ian wins, Shane or Dan (unlikely) will go to jury. If Shane, Dan or Danielle wins, there is a 95% chance that Ian heads to jury, or so I thought… (I’ll get to that)
Well, Danielle steps up to the plate again and actually wins PoV! Wow, look at her go. I think she won one competition all season until this week, and now she has a chance to sweep the remaining challenges (I believe she gets a chance to play in the final HoH competition tonight, which is endurance).
What will she do with the PoV? Well, she’s speculated taking Dan down and allowing him to get some blood on his hands by voting out Ian, but if she does this, she’s a damn fool and deserves what may come to her as a result. Dan has been very open to the DR about wanting to get either Shane or Ian out, and as of right now, I think he’d probably choose to vote out Shane before Ian. His reason? Shane and Danielle would likely be happy taking each other to the final 2, while Ian has shown far too much loyalty towards Dan this season, he may actually take him to the final 2.
With a pending endurance competition coming, and Danielle’s only puppet the one person who can decide who goes home and who remains, she has one decision to make. Just one. Any other decision, and I’ll facepalm so hard I may break my nose. Have Shane vote out Ian, head into the endurance challenge with two very strong endurance players (Shane and Danielle), win and take each other to the final 2. At this point, she has nothing to lose by doing that. She has 0% chance of beating Dan or Ian in the final 2, and if she takes Dan over Shane, she’s nowhere near as smart as she thinks she is.
We’ll see what happens as the day progresses. I’m not sure if the PoV meeting will be held today or during the live show, but if Danielle uses her POV, I want Julie to kick open the door Rambo-style, grab Danielle by the hair and smack some sense into her.